BIDDING INDIA BYE

One whole month and a half just flew by and it was time for byes again. Much as all of us hated it, we had to leave and come back to our lives in Hong Kong. We extended our trip by a few days so that we could celebrate your first Holi (festival of colours) in India with Daadu and Daadi. Yet again you seemed to sense the excitement in the air and were beyond yourself and eager to take it all in. We dressed you up in a lovely (Lord) Krishna outfit made out of yellow satin and My! how adorable you looked with the peacock feather crown and chewing on the flute as if you were playing it. I could have gazed at you for eternity without batting an eye lid. And obviously so there were flash bulbs all around, with me, dad, Daadu and Daadi with cameras in their hands each trying to capture you in the moment. If you could sense, I am sure you would have felt like a celebrity and we, paparazzi! 

After all the holi fun it was time to pack our bags and leave the next evening. Needless to say it was not easy. The one and a half months had given us a lot of memories and the grandparents were finding it especially hard to say goodbye. I was sad too; leaving India is never easy for me but at least this time I had you with me which made it easier to bid adieu. I realised now why people say its good to have a family. It makes a house, home, a place where you want to keep coming back to. You no longer lead a life liking or disliking a place because no matter where you are, the bonds of family help you, rather make you fall in love with the place, which in my case was Hong Kong. My heart would also sink, take a nose-dive each time we had to go back to Hong Kong from India or any other place we were vacationing in. It sank a bit this time too but I soon got over it because this time I was looking forward to brining you back to our home and life. So, thanks my darling son for helping me miss India a little less 🙂

 

 

VISITING INDIA- The Grand Welcome

One thought which always came up when your father and I discussed about your future was your Indian passport. Unlike a lot of parents of our generation we didn’t plan your birth around your place of birth and as (your) luck would have it, you ended up with an Indian passport, which I am not sure how happy you would be about when you grow up and decide to travel the world. Nonetheless, now that you had one, we decided to make sure that you be a bit more than a mere Indian passport holder, for in my opinion ( and a strong one at that), there is nothing worse than living without an identity and like it or not, one’s country of origin still matters a lot in today’s world. I do hope you grow up to find yourself in a world where geographical boundaries and colour of skin do not matter anymore, but in case it still does you wouldn’t find yourself grappling with the tough question- So, I am an Indian. But what is being an Indian all about?
You might have other people answering that question for you, telling you things which are true and sometimes not so true, making you form an opinion based on others’ positive or negative experiences. And obviously we did not want that to happen.
So, we decided to introduce you to our India the country we-your parents called home.Wether or not it would be home for you in the days to come, we leave that up to you to decide.
This trip was going to be a first in many respects- first flight, first cruise across time zones, first taste of business class travel(and bed) and above all, first taste of India!
The preparations began a month in advance listing down things to buy and pack lest we miss anything important. I would sit down with my phone and visualise a whole day with you and carefully list down each article required through the day and then do it twice, thrice, four times until I was convinced everything was covered. It was a six hours red eye to Delhi followed by an overnight halt and another two hours to Bhubaneswar ( Daadu and Daadi’s) the next afternoon. By no means it was an easy haul even for someone travelling without kids, let alone first time parents with a spirited five month old! Add to that the 2.5 hours time difference with Hong Kong. We were definitely not in for a cake walk and saying that we were nervous would be an understatement. So, we were all packed up and set on the evening of 31st of January for your maiden voyage to India. You were showered, fed and strapped on to Mom and by the time we reached the airport you were fast asleep and we, a bit relaxed. But you seemed to have other plans. Your eyes pop opened the moment we boarded and sleep seemed far far away from your eyes. You seemed pretty excited to see so many people around and all the clatter got you all stimulated. You continued to be like that till we took off and slowly drifted to sleep and continued to sleep until landing when again you fussed a little and slept off. Though pretty exhausted ourselves it seemed like a battle half won.But the worst was yet to come. That first night in India was a nightmare and you cried hysterically all night. We started to wonder if we had done the right thing bringing you here. But seems like you were setting your biological clock and come morning, lo and behold you were back to your spirited self. Especially on the flight to Bhubaneswar you seemed visibly excited to be going home and kept the entire flight and the crew entertained with your never ending gurgles and chuckles. Seems like you set your biological clock in that one night all eager to enjoy India. When finally home, you were welcomed warmly by Daadu and Daadi. A big poster with your pictures adorned with “Welcome Samarth” right at the entrance followed by “Aarti and Tikka” (by Daadi ushered you in.Balloons adorned the entire house. Rejoicing your arrival the grandparents were over the moon and why wouldn’t they be, you had grown so much since the last they left you back in Hong Kong and now you were a five month old gurgling and smiling at them eager to take it all in and basking in their love and attention. The atmosphere was truly joyous and euphoric. If you could sense, how lucky and loved would you have felt.

 

                                                          

FIRST DIWALI

Your second month also saw you celebrate your first Diwali. Dadu and Daadi extended their stay by another week to celebrate it with you. As usual you were a good boy and let Mamma prepare for the pooja in the evening. In fact you also went shopping for flowers with me and then went for your evening nap as everyone got ready and performed the Aarti ( singing hymns and invoking Goddess Lakshmi-the Goddess of Wealth and Richness and Lord Ganesh-the God of Sensibility and Prosperity). Now, let me tell you the importance of Diwali, the festival of lights. Though it was first celebrated by the people of the holy land of Ayodhya to celebrate the return of their beloved prince (Lord) Ram, his wife Sita and brother Lakshman after fourteen years of exile in the forest but its celebration marks much more than that. Diwali, my dear marks the victory of good over evil, of light over darkness, of peace and love over animosity and hatred. It teaches us that no matter how long the night seems, there is a morning after it. In fact the night is darkest before dawn. It teaches us to be patient and persevering during the dark days of our lives, keep faith and never give up our good virtues because that is what would make us stronger and better beings and appreciate when we get the happy days back again. It teaches us to respect our elders and value their judgements which comes with experiencing life so much longer than us. And most importantly it teaches us to never leave the side of our loved ones and those whom we hold dear to us because always remember that they would be the ones who would be our pillars of support when our world comes crashing down and we have no one to turn to. Our Indian tradition and culture is filled with so many such festivals which teach us great lessons of life which you would learn to value more and more as you grow up and make your own life. Always remember sweetheart, that just as a tree needs to grow its roots strong and deep to flower and flourish, man, no matter which part of the world and what stature of society he belongs to, can never prosper and grow until he respects his roots- his people, where he comes from, his culture and values. This doesn’t mean you disrespect and value others’ values and culture any less. But be like the water which flows freely, enriches its banks but takes the shape of any vessel it is poured into. Heavy words, but you would get to know their meaning as you grow and get to see more and more of the world 🙂

                                              

 

 

Daadu and Daadi left soon after Diwali and then we started counting down for Naani’s HK visit which also coincided with your first “international” trip. Well, Macacu is technically international right :)? Must admit all of us (except you of course) were a bundle of nerves wondering how you would take the travel. But boy were we in for a surprise, albeit a pleasant one. The two days in Macau you were a complete gem, even sleeping very well in the hotel room and enjoying the views while out. In fact even on during our way back home when the waters were choppy and all of us were sea sick you proved to be the smartest one drifting into sleep at first hint of turbulence. Obviously one major part of Macau which you missed on was the gambling floor but I am sure you will explore it on your own and explore it well (well at least I am not praying for it) when your pockets are deep 🙂

                                                            

AND THE D DAY IS HERE…

So, with all the excitement and the preparation to welcome you to our world the D-day was finally around the corner. Your Daadu and Daadi joined us in Hong Kong to welcome their second grand child.The due date of your arrival as the doctor’s projected was September 12th, 2013 and it was the evening of 7th of September with no signs of you coming along and anxiety grew with each passing day.
It was the afternoon of 8th september as the four of us, Daadu,Daadi, Dad and me sat enjoying a game of cards on a sultry sunday afternoon post a hearty lunch when you first hinted the desire to come out and see the world. Afternoon gave way to evening and the labor progress slowly but steadily. It was the eve of Ganesh Chaturthi (the Elephant God’s birthday)and we wondered if the auspicious day would mark a special event in our lives too. Your dad, constantly on a lookout for new toys for you went out that evening and in an interesting coincidence bought a small blue elephant toy for you. And seems it was a signal from the heavens above as the very next day our very special gift, the fruit of more than a decade of our togetherness, you, came into our lives.

                                                         

Needless to say the joy was manyfold. The phone didn’t stop ringing with good wishes from friends and families pouring in and I wouldn’t be exaggerating if I said we had more visitors in that one week than we had had in the whole year or maybe two years.

Like all “new” babies the big bright world was a bunch of bewilderment for you as well. So many faces, sounds and the bright light around surprised and irritated you as tried to settle and take all in with those tiny little eyes which barely opened for the first few days. The mid-wives at the Matilda joked about how you already had a mind of your own and called you by all sorts of sweet nicknames from chicken legs (thanks to your long waggly legs), puppet, little policeman and what not.

We brought you home on the 14th of September and to our most pleasant surprise Daadu and Daadi along with Aunty Abigail (our helper at the time) had decorated the entire house with flowers and colourful balloons. What a welcome it was! If you could feel and sense then I am sure you would feel so fortunate and loved to be among such wonderful people.

             

 

The first one month was not easy for you and definitely not a cake walk for us new parents too. But the little fighter that you have always been you didn’t take very long to settle into your new routine with help from Mommy, Daddy, Dadu and Dadi 🙂 

 

The first month passed in a blink and you slept through most of it (not that I complained about it :):)) And how can I forget the face of the sleeping angel in his small crib, occasionally smiling, sometimes chuckling and making all sorts of cute little noises in his sleep. You were such a treat to watch even while sleeping. It never failed to warm my heart with the queasy feeling which only mothers are fortunate to know. I could sit and watch you as long as you slept even at the cost of my own sleep
I always got a feeling (with the little knowledge I had of babies) that you were a spirited one. So, not surprisingly you achieved all the growth milestones a bit earlier than we expected you to. And one of the most precious ones was when a few days before your second month birthday you first looked into my eyes and gave me that cute toothless smile of yours which was soon to become a trademark of your personality. Mere words cannot describe the myriad of emotions I experienced in those fleeting few seconds.Maybe you would know one day when you hold your own bundle of joy in your arms and see him do the same. 

               

                                                            

 

 

 

 

 

 

BABY SHOWER

                                                             

Oh well! You definitely need to know this coz it involves histrionics which I always thought your dad was quite incapable of- organising a SURPRISE party where no two guests knew each other and guess what ! All of them were sweet, pretty ladies…ahem… well before the horses of your imagination start running wild, hold them back- all the efforts were for my surprise baby shower! Not knowing too many people in Hong Kong, moreover not having any common friends, a baby shower was beyond my expectation.Plus in the ten odd years I had known your father I always thought planning surprises was not his forte- he was far too “practical” for surprising people! But boy was I wrong!! It was in the afternoon of 5th of August and we were getting ready to head out for lunch at this restaurant which Saurav had read about recently, at least I thought at that moment. In the final leg of the pregnancy and the heat and humidity of the sultry August afternoon getting to me I was all for an order in lunch but I was literally dragged onto my feet and forced to dress up decently as it was a “nice” place and father to be went, “ Please don’t complain later I didn’t warn you about the dress code!” Pretty intrigued and pleasantly surprised , even my husband’s new found interest in what I should wear to a casual Sunday lunch didn’t prepare me for what was in store.Nevertheless I decided to humour him just for the sake of a positive reinforcement of his rare behaviour. As we grabbed the lift to go down my complaining continued and then he came up with another one-Why don’t we go to the clubhouse ? I need to speak to the lady there about subscribing newspapers for (his) Dad when he is here.
Now,please note that in our almost two years in the building this was the first time he actually mentioned about going to the club house. How the lady at the club house would be able to help us with subscribing news papers was beyond me;but the lethargy and humidity was getting to me and I just decided to follow dear husband and tried to distract myself by getting busy on the phone. And a moment later a roomful of cheerful voices shouting, “SURPRISE!” made me look up from the phone. I am not sure what my face looked like at that moment but I was feeling multiple feelings at once-joy, amazement , love and a bit of concern. The first three I am sure you know why but you must wonder, why the hell the concern!?! Well! You know beta, it doesn’t take much to get your mom worried and concerned ( as you might be well aware of and used to be by now) and this time I was concerned about half a dozen ladies and a couple of gentlemen who had so graciously helped put together this afternoon but no two of them knew or had met each other before. So, I was naturally worried how they would keep each other entertained. But all my worries were soon to be dispelled for what followed was an afternoon of pure fun and laughter and I could see how each of them had contributed in their own special way to make this day in my life happen- from getting the cake, cupcakes, decorations, planning games to designing the invite and capturing the moments on the camera. I felt so special and loved. And the one man who brought all these special people together to just bring a smile on my face, who ran around buying a dozen gifts for the games( and doing a good job of keeping them hidden from me), who made sure my hands stayed off his blackberry (lest I read all the coordination and planning messages), the man, your father, who stood next to me as I hugged my friends, smiling his cute dimpled smile and being there like has always been there for me. In that moment I fell in love with him all over again and felt so fortunate and blessed to be sharing my life and soon sharing YOU with him. Always remember darling, you are very very lucky to have him as your Dad. You could do without me for a day in your life but you (and we-you and me) could not do without him for a moment. No matter how cliched this sounds, but he IS the best father you could ever ask for.

                                    

                                                                   

                                                                                                           

 

 

I am pregnant!?!

It was a chilly January evening when the knowledge of your being first dawned on me, though still a bit unsure, it filled me up with mixed feelings. Yes, mixed! Not the usual filmy emotional upheaval where the expectant mother goes over the moon at “the news” and cannot stop giggling and crying with joy at the same time. Well, I had sometimes fantasised doing that but unfortunately thats not how my hormones decided to swing.So, dear Samarth do not kill your mother when she says that here I was with the stick turning blue in my hands as I waited and stared at it with bated breath for five minutes..(the longest five minutes of my life thus far!!) and my palms turning all sweaty and moist on that chilly January evening. It was our second year in Hong Kong when we(especially I) had gradually started to settle in. I finally had a job after eight months of depressing loneliness in an alien city and knew a handful of people whom I could call friends and the now THIS! My hyperactive mind started functioning overtime thinking about the “consequences!” of what was done and which obviously couldn’t be undone. Obviously because even during those fateful five minutes and during the hours and days to follow taking the alternate route never crossed my mind. I guess some things are just meant to be 🙂
Well at this juncture it would be worth mentioning how my significant other and fifty percent contributor towards your creation took to this news. Back from a hard day’s work Saurav is ever the couch potato and not even a stock market crash would budge him. But this was different. So, I had the rare opportunity of witnessing my cool and composed husband pacing the bedroom floor,wringing his hand, scratching his head and wait a minute..maybe also wiping some sweat off his brow; and I must admit it gave me a kind of sadistic pleasure seeing him like that 😛
So that was that. Still reeling from the blow we decided to get our heads together and prepare for the massive upheaval which our lives were about to witness. And thus began the exciting nine month journey. There are so many moments during the months which I would like to treasure forever and no matter how cliched it might sound the most special one was listening to your heartbeat for the very first time. After that each appointment with the obstetrician became a treat to look forward to. Month after month your father and I would walk expectantly to Dr.Ghosh’s clinic with child like enthusiasm wondering what new we would see this time, how much you would have grown and after a few months waited eagerly to see your features; and the naughty one that you were, you would always hide your face behind your tiny hands and hardly allowed a glimpse.Nonetheless the walk back was almost always about how much weight you had gained and whom did you look like. Your dad would want you to look like me and I would pray that you have his brains.Being first time parents is such a special feeling, it takes one back to their childhood, even before the bundle of joy arrives…. 

 

I used to hear people say- A Mother is born when a Child is born and often wonder if that was really true for me. For a self proclaimed pragmatic and practical girl I seldom identified with the role of a “Mother” for myself though always played with and loved the idea of being one.
So, here is my story of my birth as a Mother and all the small and big joys which came along with it, bundled up in a tiny little package whom we decided to call Samarth. Goes without saying that this is my gift to my precious son and also an ode to Motherhood and all the moms in my life who make living so special for their children…..